The Various Misadventures of the Eds
by oinkers12
Summary: The Eds have their own adventurous stories. They each involve interaction with the other characters. R&R


**The Various Misadventures of the Cul-de-sac (Chapter One, Ed's Story)**

Ed was staring there. He was doing nothing as he watched his friends build a booth. Ed then was shocked to find that he had been sitting on wet yellow paint. Panicking, as his tiny mind couldn't work out that it was yellow paint, he believed as if he had been possessed by alien slime. He ran as fast as he could to Edd and Eddy, pushing them away from the booth and destroying it into pieces.

"Look at what you did! You ruined another scam! Ed, you're useless!" Eddy yelled at the top of his lungs, disappointed at the broken pieces of what could've been an excellent scam. Edd was also disappointed, as he stared at what used to be a lemonade stand, but is now a splinter waiting to happen.

"Eddy, if I may interject, I know I don't want to obliterate your concerns for Ed ruining too many scams, almost too many to count, but he is still our fellow, our amigo, our friend, and we should still treat him with the same amount of respect as you do for your magazines," Edd said, confusing Ed as his brain just worked in Eddy's last statement, then breaking into tears.

"Am I possessed by alien scum, Double D?" Ed said, trying to fit his concerns from his distant, almost brainless land. He was unaware that none of his pals were even listening to him.

"Eddy, without Ed's massive strength, you wouldn't even have any scams to be ruined," Edd said, still annoyed at the fact that Eddy believes Ed is a useless member of the team.

When Eddy is about to contradict Edd's statement, Ed is dragged off by Sarah to his backyard. Sarah then looks angrily at Ed in a summer-like dress.

Ed, full of fear, told Sarah, "Don't hurt me! Don't tell mom! Don't hurt me with evil aliens who use….. Oh, wait, that was paint. Of course! How was I that stupid?" Ed's mind then worked again as he asked, "Why am I here? Am I in trouble?"

"No," Sarah replied, "Mom just needs you to take me to the dentist to get my 'Happy Smile' picture taken, or else you are grounded."

"OK Sarah, don't hold the mustard!" Ed yelled gleefully as he carried his big sister on his shoulders, breaking the fence of his yard, and running over Edd and Eddy, who were still in a heated argument, ignoring the injuries they went through.

Ed then stops running when he sees Jonny on a small tricycle.

"Ed, where are you going? Plank and I wouldn't even go past the Cul-de-sac today," Jonny said, riding his trike the same way around the Cul-de-sac, not even bothering to move from his same position. "The Kankers have blocked the Cul-de-sac, waiting for their 'boyfriends.'"

Ed instantly stopped, looking afraid, and drops Sarah onto the pavement, worried out of his mind.

"Sarah, I am sorry, I cannot keep going, unless if I want to be pummeled, then kissed, then pummeled again. And then kissed once more," Ed said, trying to run back to the house, but Sarah grabs him before he can escape.

"Mom said that no matter what keeps you, she wants me to go to the dentist and finally take that picture," Sarah replied, stretching her arms around Ed as if she was hugging him. Ed felt relieved, but then learned it was a "Kick-Me" sign that she taped on his back. Kevin then comes up, and kicks Ed, as well as Jimmy, who just came back from the sand box.

"That was so exciting! However, I have a wedgie, a sand wedgie!" Jimmy said, screaming to his house.

Ed tries to grab the sign off of his back, but he wasn't flexible enough, and he kept twirling and twirling while trying to reach it. He was soon twirling to where the Kankers were, and Sarah was too scared to even go there. Sarah was actually kind of worried for her big brother, as it was her fault that he was in the wrath of the Kankers. Why should he suffer?

"ED! Come back before you get hurt!" Sarah said, with little hope.

"I will Sarah," Ed replied, "as soon as this sign is off. I know that lemonade stand this, I knew it was evil! I knew it wasn't paint! Die evil, possessing, lemonade-filled alien scum! I am Ed!"

Marie Kanker then noticed Ed twirling their way, and she nudged May in the arm. May looked hopeful as she sees her "boyfriend" just running to them.

"Look who we got us girls!" Lee screamed, happily and deviously, "It's May's boyfriend."

May's buck teeth were shivering as she was nervous. She had a few brittle ends in her hair. May wanted to make a good impression on Ed, so she grabbed Marie's shoes and brushed her hair with it. She felt like she was back to normal, but she made the situation worse, and made an angry Marie tackling her.

"Lemonade is evil!" Ed shouted, as he soon stopped when he noticed the Kankers standing there, waiting there, with lipstick and hair products.

"Attack!" Lee commanded as her sisters grabbed Ed by the jacket and pushed him to the ground, where May was kissing him non-stop. It almost felt like a hurricane, a volcano, and a thunderstorm rushing to Ed at once.

Ed yelled, "Please stop witches of the lemonade!"

Marie asked, "What is your problem?" She then lost grip of Ed and he ran as fast as possible, actually on his way to the dentist office. May instantly started crying.

"Marie, you let May be a sobbing idiot. Well, she's always an idiot, but now she's an annoying one!" Lee said, angry for letting her emotional sister annoy her.

**ED, EDD, N EDDY**

Ed, still running, misses a turn and ends up in the junkyard. He is alone, with nowhere else to go but inside a junk pile. Running inside, dirtying up his socks, shoes, and hair, he discovers a discarded can of lemonade. He is still scarred, believing that all the lemonade in the world is evil and is possessed by aliens. The can is still half-full, and he is tempted to drink it and face his fear. He then notices something else in the pile. This was a tuft of blue hair, and he feared it was Marie. Instead, he found Rolf.

"ED BOY! Why must you disturb the nap of a son of a shepherd?" Rolf asked, confused at why Ed is there.

"I am hiding from evil lemonade monsters and evil Kanker sisters who will kiss me into oblivion!" Ed replied, still having anxieties about the sour drink.

"OK, do you want to face your fear?"

"Sure."

Rolf then shoves the half-full can of lemonade then Ed's mouth, and Ed makes an extreme sourly face.

"Are you cured?"

"I dunno." Ed then came to the realization that he has to take Sarah to get her picture taken, and he cannot get back to the Cul-de-sac with it being blocked off by the Kankers. He then has to think of a plan to keep mom from grounding him and to get rid of the Kankers.

"You are upset, Rolf can tell." Rolf then takes out an amulet that has two strong muscles on it, and he places it on Ed's chest. "Rolf may not enjoy the company of you, how Kevin says it, 'dorks,' but I am willing to help in the battle against the Kankers. I too am hiding from them as I managed to escape. This amulet will give you strength, power, wisdom, courage, and even more power than before! Do you understand Ed boy?"

"I like cookies and milk!"

Suddenly, Rolf pushes Ed out of the pile and Ed begins his journey to the Cul-de-sac. Rolf then jumps out as well, and starts heading toward the Kanker trailer.

**ED, EDD, N EDDY**

Ed, back and refreshed, faces Lee Kanker, who was standing there, waiting for Ed.

"Hey girls, look who just ran back to us!" Lee shouted excitedly, and May Kanker suddenly charged for him.

_Must use amulet, _Ed thought to himself as he stood in sumo position. This backfired, though, as the Kankers knock him to the ground. Before Ed fell down, however, he saw Sarah out of the corner of his eye, grabbing a giant garbage bag with a butterfly net tied to it. Ed grew a smile as wide as his face, as he fell down into a can of lemonade.

"Oh no!" Ed screamed, as he got up with a severe sour face. He couldn't see at all. His mind finally brought out another thought: _He couldn't see, so he couldn't fear the Kankers. _He believed it was foolproof and slammed into Lee Kanker and knocked her down.

"Big brother, I'm coming!" Sarah yelled, and she bagged May, knocking her out.

"Hey, no one's hurting on my sisters but me!" Marie yelled as she charged towards Sarah, but Ed slammed into her blue hair.

Ed remembered the amulet, which was supposed to give him wisdom, and he came up with a plan.

"You can't get rid of me that easily!" Marie yelled, with madness and frustration. She found Ed standing right in front of her. She charged, but Ed blew her a small kiss. She was shocked. "You can't do that, you are terrified of me!"

Ed's plan was perfect. He distracted Marie and Sarah charged for her with the bag that she used to defeat May. Marie was defeated, and Ed, still somewhat blind by the lemonade, came to embrace Sarah.

"Ed, I'm sorry. This was all my fault," Sarah said with tons of guilt.

"It's okay baby sister," Ed said, "I'm just happy we are getting along."

"Well, this is probably the only day that's going to happen. Tomorrow, I'm still can pummel you to a pulp."

"As long as I get beaten up by the end of the show."

"But this isn't a show, this is a Fanfiction."

"Oh, well let's go get that picture taken!" Ed screamed as he journeyed with his little sister to the dentist.

**ED, EDD, N EDDY**

On the way, Ed stopped by the junkyard to return Rolf's amulet.

"Here you go Rolf," Ed said, as happy as any smelly and tall adolescent could be.

"Ed boy," Rolf replied, "that amulet didn't help you at all, Rolf gave you a piece of wood in the trash. I just wanted to go back home. Oh, and I paid a little visit to the Kankers' trailer.

_**At the trailer…..**_

"Why is there all this junk in our beauty equipment!" yelled Lee.

_**Back at the junkyard…**_

"So, that amulet wasn't real?" Ed asked.

"Of course not Ed boy."

"Well then, I LIKE PANCAKES!" Ed screamed, as the intelligence that the amulet had given him was instantly gone.

"Ooh, the sun is setting. How pretty!" Rolf said with joy.

"Come on, Ed, if we run we can get there and be home in time for dinner," Sarah said.

**ED, EDD, N EDDY**

As they got back, Sarah is sucking on a lollipop the dentist gave her. Ed is drinking three cans of lemonade at the same time, as he got over his fear. He drops one, and he ends up tripping over it, breaking fences all throughout the Cul-de-sac, and landing back where he started at the lemonade stand, where Edd and Eddy are still arguing.

"Ed is an important member of our team Eddy!" Edd yelled, not realizing Ed just showed up.

"Ed is just stinky, gross, and useless," Eddy said, just realizing Ed is there. "Oh, sorry Lumpy."

"Ha! I knew it. You do care for Ed!"

"Well, that takes guts and determinations to sit there the whole day listening to us argue."

"Actually," Ed started, "I just went on this big…"

"Stop it Ed. Just get dressed for our next scam," Eddy interrupted.

"I LIKE CEREAL!"

"That's right Ed, you do like cereal," Edd said, unaware of the adventure his friend just had.


End file.
